Ok. So I kind of lost that compelling first love along the way.
Has that every happened to you?
When I was first saved at 17 I started riding my moped around with some friends in Southern California looking for people we could share the gospel with. We would ride up to bus stops and malls and start sharing our hearts and the story of Jesus. We felt compassion for those we met. We were moved by their stories and needs. My church would bus our youth group down to the Sunset Strip (my parents would follow along in secret to keep an eye on me) and send us in 2's to share with Bikers and drug addicts and people wandering the streets. We went out nearly every weekend with a guy at church sharing the love of Jesus and winning many people to the faith. It was the tail end of the Jesus movement and Daniel Amos was a hot band! Fun times. More than fun, they were deeply connected to the heart beat of the Lord.
I was fascinated with everything Jesus.
I would pray at church for everything I saw happen. People would get healed and I wanted to be part of that. I would pray for words of knowledge and give it a try. People would sing some sweet harmony in worship and I would ask the Lord for that too. I lived and breathed the Scripture and learned every possible thing I could about it. I prayed. Got up when it was still dark, at the break of dawn, and prayed with my youth group. Why? Because that's what they modeled to me and called me to.
Then went off to my high school where we plastered posters on every locker and hung signs on the backstop. The whole school could see "Jesus Saves". Then we started an on-campus gathering right next to the school office. We would worship, pray, read the word, hang out and then go out and share the gospel all around the school while lunch was in session. Jesus was clearly front and center and I was blown away by his Kingdom, his people, His Church and the life of abundance I was living.
Compared to drugs, brokenness, loss, stealing and drinking myself into a spin, Jesus was profoundly freeing.
Then I lost touch with that kind of compassion. I lost touch with the raw and life changing Gospel.
Things happened. My youth pastors got a divorce. That hurt. I was from a divorced family myself. I buried all that with drugs and alcohol. Or so I thought. The pain and confusion welled up. I went into a kind of spin. I thought I was done with pain and confusion.
The pastor of my church got fired. I was a kid and had no idea what was going on but that pastor was amazing. He filled my life up with a powerful vision of church and a deep love for Jesus. I drifted further than I recognized from my walk with the Lord; from the heart felt first love, from deep conviction and from penetrating worship. My focus shifted from Jesus onto people, his church, everything that needed correction and on to the pleasures and cares of the world.
I think I abandoned the way of the cross.
Let me clarify. I went on to help plant a church right out of high school, led worship, wrote many worship songs, continued to share my faith, study the word and minister. Then I shifted off to Bible College in Oregon and got a little taste of what I would call religion.
First couple days into Bible College I was sitting in the cafeteria and a Sr. was sitting there. She was not really interested in talking with me, but I was always looking for divine encounters. I started talking about something in the Lord Jesus and she turned and looked me square and said something to the effect, "It's ok, you'll get over all that soon."
I think she abandoned the cross as well.
Get over what? Get over Jesus? How? He is amazing.
Get over my sins being gone? Get over the gospels power to change people's lives? My life. Get over the profound love and worshiping him?
Get over the power of God giving words of knowledge, prophecy, healing?
I shrugged it off. But my heart got a little dent.
The flames of pursuit of Jesus ebbed and flowed over years of service in the regular things of the Christian life.
I marvel at the connection the Lord Jesus showed as a whole person; his mind, body, soul and spirit were flowing in complete harmony in his acts of mercy and love.
He said he was doing what the Father was doing. (John 5:19) That came out into the world as compassion, as action. Volumes could be written on this idea alone - What is the Father doing? Jesus pointed with his life, action, power and compassion to what the Father was doing. My first love pursuit of Christ was linked right in to this reality. Jesus is alive and I could follow him as the disciples did today. By the Spirit I could follow Jesus. So I did. Into wild and amazing things. Into seeing people come into his Kingdom. Into praying for the sick and prophesying. Into words of knowledge and compassion for those who did not know Jesus. Ok. So I said I kind of lost that compelling first love along the way. It seems that it leaked out of me. A small leak. An acceptable leak. A leak that no one really cared about or noticed.
As my passion leaked out I picked up self talk phrases to support my lack and replace the Scriptures.
"It's ok, we are all human." "I need to be realistic. Jesus doesn't expect all of us to live that way?" "I'm in an off season."
Could the real problem be that as believers we hardly expect or relate to one another out of "First Love". We don't demand first love of ourselves possibly because it is so easy these days to simply go with the low end and get by with what is "standard".
Accepted levels of "spiritual pursuit" agreed upon by the masses should alert us to the origin. The wide road is easy and broad.
So, can we assume anything easy, accepted by the masses and broadly approved of might not produce the hottest fires of first love for the narrow way? In every generation season and time there is a narrow way that requires first love to walk on, live on and dwell in with God. It will require faith, hope and love to stay on, and perceive . Everything on that narrow way, all of it, will drive our hearts to love the Lord our God will everything we have; heart, soul, mind, strength.
Mat 7:13
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.
The Ephesian Church lost her first love. There were things to keep and things to restore to keep their lamp burning. Things to keep. Jesus commended them on these things.
A. Good Doctrine
B. Good lifestyle and perseverance in good works
C. Good involvement in the family - His Church
D. Good worship and devotion
The problem with anything we may do as devotion that is:
1) defined outside of compelling love for Jesus
2) established in broad feel good standards;
3) or places perseverance as the highest worship
is....
If it does not have first love. It is not worthy of Jesus.
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.
Remember first love? Remember when people called you, "ON FIRE FOR GOD?"
Remember when you could not wait to get up in the early hours of the morning and pray before anything else?
Remember you wanted to worship on and on and on?
Remember after glows? We had a meeting after the meeting? Sweet, do you remember? Remember you were hungry and asked for things from the Father?
Remember you believed for people to encounter Jesus and break free from whatever held them back?
Remember people did break free in the power of Christ?
Remember you broke free?
Remember you used to do things that you no longer do.
When you were forgiven and set free from them your whole mind, body, soul and spirit soared in worship and love for God. You didn't believe it could be that good.
But it was. Jesus was that good.
Remember.
Remember.
My hope is that as you remember you will encounter the Lord Jesus afresh today. At your present age and in your current life situation. That the fires of first love will burn away every worthless thing in your life. That Jesus would so fill up your vision you would step into new grace, love and faith.
That We would all say of you, "You are on fire for God"
"you are a witness of first love for Jesus".
Read these Scriptures for encouragement and first love ignition. I hope your walk of faith lights up an entire city, an entire nation. Dream again with Him and walk as you did at first.
2Ki 13:23
But the LORD was gracious to them and had compassion and showed concern for them because of his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. To this day he has been unwilling to destroy them or banish them from his presence.
Isa 30:18
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
This is part I. Part II will seek to tell the testimony of the past few years. When first love visited my heart again in a more powerful way than I have ever known.
Jesus, you are our ONE DESIRE.
Love to you all in the LORD. You can achieve greater love than ever before!
Feedback? Ideas?
I would love to dialogue with you.
Share your comments.
2016
Transfiguration!
Look forward, eyes filled with Abundance, Boundless, Victorious vision in Jesus.
Get a copy of my Prophetic Review 2016 - Salvation's Mountain Erupting with Open Doors, Shifts and Invitation. Encouragement, focus, wisdom and insight into the prophetic seasons of the new year.www.jeffreynoldsministries.com
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You can do this thing! He's got you.
Jeff Reynolds ---
Brother Jeff
Jeff Reynolds Sr. LeaderCapstone Christian Fellowship
jeff@jeffreynoldsministries.com
jreynolds@mycapstone.org
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