Jeff Reynolds One desire: I Am Endlessly Searching For Something In This Life

I am endlessly searching for something in this life.


I could only offer ashes

When I was sixteen I realized it was not something I was searching for but someone.   In a Christmas service in Southern California, Jesus spoke my name. Literally, I heard my name in the crowded room. When I heard it, waves of understanding crashed into my mind and soul. My heart, which was dead before this, was kindled. My heart, lost and confused, heard the sound and came awake.

The sound, that voice, kept coming and coming. Coming to me and diving directly down to the raw vulnerable places of my life. Pouring in to places long closed up and protected; the sound carried an acceptance and love far down inside me. Nothing in me had the ability to hide. I didn't want to hide. I let Him in. I welcomed the sound and the waves pounded and poured into me.    It was a reverberating sound, shaking and calling, moving things around inside me, my thoughts, heart and soul.

I knew the dark places the voice touched. Familiar and forgotten but remembered in a moment. Maybe here, this place, in these moments is where most relationships end or turn or break under the pressure of truth? The voice kept coming on, down to the places far beyond what I understood or even recognized. I felt it. I welcomed it. Wanting more, a thirst grew that is now like a dry spot in the center of me.   A barren void was exposed that turned into a hunger and thirst. It remains with me to this day.

Like water filling up a bucket of sand and rocks, what went in began filling and swirling into every space. Sand castles in my soul broke up and exploded. The water wound in and around everything rose to the rim and overflowed. I was completely known, naked, seen broken and longed for in love. Pure light filled me up; my words, my past, the pains hidden away were invaded.   Dead hopes, killed by my own hands, were stirred up in the sound. Overwhelmed by understanding, hearing language without words, known and embraced, I could never let my life be the same. I did not completely understand. But I could tell I was completely understood. Welcomed. Desired. Embraced.

I was completely known, naked, seen broken and longed for in love.

It was at this spot in my life that I felt I could only offer ashes. I had little or nothing to give in return to Jesus. So I offered my life. To me it looked like a pile of ashes in my hands. But he wanted the offering. To this day I marvel at his desire for me even as broken and torn down as I was.

Thirty six years later, I understand a person filled up my life. Jesus welled up in me and has never stopped spilling over all the boarders and boundaries I erected in my short 16 years of the stony dead heart.   A relationship started that night. I've spent all my days since wandering in the depths of Christ.

Restoring First Love - a compelling desire to bring sight to stoney hearts.
My last four years have dwarfed any previous encounters I have ever had with the Lord. Combining all my mystery encounters, experiences, breakthroughs in the word and compelling witness of the Kingdom together, this season eclipses all other days put together. This is spanning 32 years of pursuing his eyes of fire.   These days are greater in encounters with him and the depths of his love. Days rich in the Word. Alive with dreams and prophetic words of encouragement and destiny. The Spirit is moving in remarkable ways.

My beginning carried pathways, stories and seeds in it.
So does yours.
I write about first love because the overwhelming reality of my life these days and the entire past combined does not reveal or compare to the understanding and grace that the Lord has poured into me now.
It is as if I was not even a believer before. That's the dramatic difference.

Embarking on a new series
I am going to focus my writing for a season and embrace the pathways of restoring first love.
My deep hope is you will find your first love filling up the depths of your life and vision and purpose. More important. You will connect with Jesus and experience the love he carries on every word he speaks.

With Love in Jesus,

Brother Jeff

What is he doing in your life? Share your story, encouragement. I'd love to partner with you to bring glory to the Lord Jesus.
jeff@jeffreynoldsministries.com

Here are some blog articles that you may be interested in...

Supernatural / Testimony / Prophetic / Spirit's Work
1) 2014 What is the Spirit saying? search in blog search above

2) An Angelic Visitation - www.jeffreynoldsministries.com

3)Time for a Healing Story - Distance Healing Testimony - Blog word search above

Some others on Jesus back to the Center.... Use the search feature for key words
1) You Fascinate me Jesus, So why are you considered so irrelevant?
2) No One Can Love You Like I Do

Thank you for reading. Please comment. Let the dialogue begin!

With Love in HIS awesome CULTURE OF LOVE

Brother Jeff

Jeff Reynolds. Sr. Leader

Capstone Christian Fellowship

jreynolds@mycapstone.org

jeff@jeffreynoldsministries.com