Ok. So I kind of lost that compelling first love along the way.

 Ok. So I kind of lost that compelling first love along the way.

When I was saved at 17, I started riding my moped around with some friends in Southern California looking for people with whom we could share the gospel.   

We would ride up to bus stops and malls engage a group of people and start sharing our hearts and the story of Jesus.   We felt compassion for those we met.   We were moved by their stories and needs.   

My church bussed our youth group down to the Sunset Strip (my parents would follow along in secret to keep an eye on me) and send us in 2's to share with Bikers and drug addicts and people wandering the streets.   We went out nearly every weekend with a guy at church sharing the love of Jesus and winning many people to the faith.    It was the tail end of the Jesus movement and Daniel Amos was a hot band!   Fun times.  More so, it was time deeply connected to the heartbeat of the Lord.  

I was fascinated with everything Jesus.  

I would pray for everything I saw happen at church.  Healing. Worship.  Blessing. Encounter with God.  Learning to pray.  Studying his word.  

People were healed and I wanted to be part of that.  I prayed for words of knowledge and then would give it a try.  People would sing some sweet harmony in worship and I would ask the Lord for that too.   

I lived and breathed the Scripture and learned every possible thing I could about it.   I prayed.  Got up when it was still dark, at the break of dawn, and prayed with my youth group.   Then went off to school where we plastered posters on every locker and hung signs on the backstop where the whole school could see "Jesus Saves".   

Then we started an on-campus gathering right next to the school office.  We would worship, pray, read the word, hang out and then go out and share the gospel all around the school while lunch was in session.   Jesus was clearly front and center and I was blown away by his Kingdom, his people, His Church and the life of abundance I was living.   

Compared to drugs, brokenness, loss, stealing and drinking myself into a spin, Jesus was profoundly freeing.  

Then I lost touch with that kind of compassion.  With the raw and life-changing Gospel that was so closely tied with the presence of the Lord. Tied into his purpose.  It slipped away at different times in my walk.  

Things happened.  My youth pastors got a divorce.   That hurt.  I came from a divorced family and used to bury all the pain with drugs and alcohol.   Now I was living in the face of all of it and believing Jesus could heal, restore, and make new.  

The pastor of my church got fired.  I was a kid and had no idea what was going on, but that pastor was amazing and filled my life up with a powerful church and love for Jesus.    

I drifted further than I recognized from an empowered and Spirit walk with the Lord; from the heartfelt first love, from deep conviction and from penetrating worship.   My focus shifted from Jesus onto people, his church, everything that needed correction and on to the pleasures and cares of the world.   

Let me clarify.  I went on to help plant a church right out of high school, led worship, wrote many worship songs, continued to share my faith, study the Word and minister.  

Then I went off to Bible College in Oregon and got a little taste of what I would call religion.  
First couple days into Bible College I was sitting in the cafeteria and a Sr. was sitting there.  She was not really interested in talking with me, but I was always looking for divine encounters.   I started talking about something in the Lord Jesus and she turned and looked me square and said something to the effect, "It's ok, you'll get over all that soon."   

Get over what?  Get over Jesus?  How?  He is amazing?  

Get over my sins being gone?  
Get over the gospels power to change people's lives?   
Get over worshiping him?  
Get over the power of God giving words of knowledge, prophecy, healing?   
I shrugged it off.  
But my heart got a little dent.

The flames of the pursuit of Jesus ebbed and flowed over years of service in the regular things of the Christian life.  

I marvel at the connection the Lord Jesus showed as a whole person; his mind, body, soul, and spirit were flowing in complete harmony in his acts of mercy and love.   He said he was doing what the Father was doing. (John 5:19)  That came out into the world as compassion, as action.    Volumes could be written on this one idea alone -  What is the Father doing?    Jesus pointed with his life, action, power, and compassion to what the Father was doing.   

My first love pursuit of Christ was linked right into this reality.  Jesus is alive and I could follow him as the disciples did - today.  By the Spirit, I could follow Jesus.  In fact, this was the beginning place, the start of real discipleship.  John 12:24-26

Ok. So I said I kind of lost that compelling first love along the way.   Maybe you have as well? 

It seems that it leaked out of me.  A small leak.  An acceptable leak.   A leak that no one really cared about or noticed.   As my passion leaked out I picked up self-talk phrases to support my lack and replace the Scriptures.  "It's ok, we are all human."    "I need to be realistic."  "Jesus doesn't expect all of us to live that way?"  "I'm in an offseason."

Could the real problem be that as believers we hardly expect or relate
to one another in"First Love"?   

We don't demand first love of ourselves. Possibly because it is so easy these days to simply go with the low end and get by with what is "standard".   

Accepted levels of "spiritual pursuit" agreed upon by the masses should alert us to the origin.   The wide road is easy and broad.    

So, can we assume anything easy, accepted by the masses and broadly approved of might not produce the hottest fires of first love for the narrow way?  

In every generation season and time, there is a narrow way that requires first love to walk on, live on and dwell in with God.  It will require faith, hope, and love to stay on, perceive and all of it will drive our hearts to love the Lord our God will everything we have; heart, soul, mind, strength.  


Mat 7:13

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

Things to keep.  
A. Good Doctrine
B. Good lifestyle and perseverance in good
C. Good involvement in the family - His Church
D. Good worship and devotion

The problem with anything 
1) defined outside of compelling love for Jesus 
2) established in the lifestyle of following him today, in this world, through broad feel-good standards; 
3) or placing perseverance as the highest worship is...

If we don't have a first affection, a first love, are we worthy of Jesus? 

Rev 2:4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.

Remember first love?   Remember when people called you, "ON FIRE FOR GOD?" 

Remember when you could not wait to get up in the early hours of the morning and pray before doing anything else?  
Remember you wanted to worship on and on and on?  
Remember afterglows?  We had a meeting after the meeting?  Sweet, do you remember?   Remember you were hungry and asked for things from the Father?   
Remember you believed for people to encounter Jesus and break free from whatever held them back?  
Remember people did break free in the power of Christ?  
Remember you broke free?   
Remember you used to do things that you no longer do and when you were forgiven and set free from them your whole mind, body, soul, and spirit soared in worship and love for God.   Remember marveling - You could not believe it could be so good.  
But it was.   
Jesus was that good.  
And he is today. 

Remember.

Remember. 

My hope is that as you remember you will encounter the Lord Jesus afresh in this day.  At your present age and life situation.  That the fires of first love will burn away every worthless thing in your life and that Jesus would so fill up your vision you would step into new grace, love, and faith.  
That we would all say of you, "You are on fire for God". 
"you are a witness of first love for Jesus".   

Read these Scriptures for encouragement and first love ignition.  I hope your walk of faith lights up an entire city, an entire nation.  Dream again with Him and walk as you did at first. 


2Ki 13:23

But the LORD was gracious to them and had compassion and showed concern for them because of his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. To this day he has been unwilling to destroy them or banish them from his presence.

Isa 30:18

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isa 54:7

“For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion, I will bring you back.

 Mat 14:14

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed the sick.

 Mat 20:34

Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.

Mar 8:2

“I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.

This is part I.   Part II will seek to tell the testimony of the past few years.  When first love visited my heart again in a more powerful way than I have ever known.   

Jesus, you are our ONE DESIRE.  

Love to you all in the LORD.   You can achieve greater love than ever before!


Jeff Reynolds 
Apostolic Leader
Global Kingdom Harvest Ministries
www.gkhministries.com 
jeffR@gkhministries.com